JSSYLK

My chapbook "A Clown, A Devil, A Chicken" is available via Successful press

June 2019

I have withheld more that I have written
a heavy weight stuck inside my bones
"when our companion fail us (and they will) we transfer our love to objects

An open window lets in flies
swirling, clinging, spiralling - weighing each other down

A pleasure and a burden to trudge through
a knuckle bone is inseparable from meaning
a moment of arrest, we must maintain contact, we must keep going back to it.
Unwavering pitch. Smite, Smile, Wax

A tomato left in the fridge, I tried to let it go

Naturally drawn to anomalies, we become obsessed
ungratified/restless because we held on too tightly

its painful but we peel back the flesh of a popped blister

red ants trapped in pockets of vinegar, an unpleasant memory from 1993




July 2019

Things fall apart. 

The praying mantis is blamed for the origin of death. 

A carpet python appears on a highway. A python's jaw does not dislocate. 

A blurry sun sticky july morning
boiling jasmine flowers on a concrete pathway- a storm is coming.

sometimes mothers will eat the bad eggs.

Jumbo fluffy clouds a bird flies into and disappears. 

Hundreds of ticks 
blood sucking parasites clinging on to scales

A train is chugging
Four different sounds at once 

Swollen and bloated with blood, 
it could have just been a coincidence. 

Dried hydrangeas at your bedside

I'll list them for you: 

1. a loud shrill as the train attempts to slow down 
2. A rolling component pressed onto an axle, metal rubbing against metal

chugging forward, they get harder to distinguish 

3. wheels passing over each gap between each joint
the heavy train passes through them, relaxing themselves  you hear those rhythmic sound of the rails. 

4. The soft hum of the engine, or is that you breathing next to me? 

mosquitoes wear me down by shear numbers
I hit myself too hard too many times.

In the time you ask me how I am doing or comment that I never smile anymore 
you could have put your glass in the dishwasher
Leaving it to soak over night

cold water dripping from my fingertips to my elbow: The root of my unhappiness

The township of prospect
a smile is a curve that sets things straight 





August 2019

How to be kinder by being crueler:
a soft arm to lean on
concealment can cause more dread

summer insects
blotchy and ailing

three laundry baskets fulls of bread rolls
cooling down and fragrant
two left turn signals syncing up

pouring milk into your coffee
unannounced that its curdlered,

not noticing how it splits
chugging back tiny white chunks

a pair sneakers at the bedside to kill centipedes as they come

I get the words out
it just feels heavy when I do

The faint night, a whole body hymn
my hand on the table caught tiny fluctuations of light
lifting the last quarter of the moon

softening, calming, snoring
hands and muscles creaking then drifting away

sun burnt lips licked
holding onto my left thumb

blood sticks in blonde-ish hair
fake red leather rolling cigarettes quickly
locking, typing, leaving

How long does it take for a stomach to swell (down)

or does it just deflate like a basketball

September 2019

They are called flowers in your eyes,
how did you get them?

We used to knock ourselves out for fun
nobody told us what to do
all you need are little beetles

It's been ending for a while
The outer interior: purple and green

I'm a big fucking knot

A bee takes a ride on a beetles back
an okayness with being silly

a drizzle, a sharp yellow light- a car drives by and a spook falls on a concrete slab

you're trying to breath but your nose and mouth whistle at different times

How is your heart at the worst of times? Do you know anything about the space between three things?

The radiator is smoking, burning rubber sinking in mud

a soreness in my calves reminds me that I like biking now that I have something to lose.

I am replused she is still beautiful after all she has done to me

I think of our nights together in the summer, you slept sluggishly on your tummy.

I keep meaning to deal with the two dead rats in my freezer but time moves so quickly and they keep getting away from me*

apricots, freedom, existentialism

it's safe to say it's been a hard year.

read to me out loud the passages that sent shivers up your spine.

You told me this morning that you want me to write about you

not happy but a wholeness

after all this time, you're bringing it out in me.


...

October 2019

...

November 2019 

...

November 13th

Today is your birthday.
under a table
I make a phony wager
two more years.

sweat soaked baby blue
dress and a string of pearls
drunk
head hung;a cross necklace lays in

pools of mushroom gravy 
“I cry every time fizzy wine goes flat”

A sunset the whole time


the changing
                  contour
                                 of
                            your
              shoulders

is inevitable
I try not to think about
your eyes
going with  the swing of the rope between
and swishing together
fingering lumps of decaying fruit pulp

the streaming of the curtain
drawn aside
into that blue gulf
the sun usually hides in

I drifted for
three days 


the space of a year 


weary workers
go coughing by with tired eyes
old people bent and dull 
slouching and murmuring 

I will turn into some chapel or
some library
the preacher is blinking at me 

twenty pairs of eyes held  me
trudging through relics
of romantic pity

there is a plum tree branch
patting you on the head
I swear it is a sunset
the whole time
  …

March

I have with held
orange air
red kilometers
a green roof back to the road
I ran away from
a yellow pattern
insects are attracted to

awoken by a train
or an escalator
I'm not sure it matters which

Fastened together with gnats and wire
we are talking about actual obituaries

I smelled 100 flowers at once
caught 1200 bug in my teeth

on my shoulder blades you play
moonlight sonata with your fingers
we can make breakfast and try to heal
maple syrup sticks your hairs
to my lips

waiting for you spoils the fruit in the fridge

the sky split down the centre
a thin yellow line

The only thing I want for a long winter
and a longer day of spring is to see you
in warm weather for a few hours

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