June 2019

I have withheld more that I have written
a heavy weight stuck inside my bones 
"when our companion fails us (and they will) we transfer our love to objects

An open window lets in plumpy flies
 swirling, clinging, spiralling - weighing each other down

A pleasure and a burden to trudge through 
a knuckle bone is inseparable from meaning
a moment of arrest, we must maintain contact, we must keep going back to it. 
Unwavering pitch. Smite, Smile, Wax 

A tomato left in the fridge, I tried to let it go

Naturally drawn to anomalies, we become obsessed
ungratified/restless because we held on too tightly

its painful but we peel back the flesh of a popped blister

red ants trapped in pockets of vinegar, an unpleasant memory from 1993 

July 2019

Things fall apart. 

The praying mantis is blamed for the origin of death. 

A carpet python appears on a highway. A python's jaw does not dislocate. 

A blurry sun sticky july morning
boiling jasmine flowers on a concrete pathway- a storm is coming.

sometimes mothers will eat the bad eggs.

Jumbo fluffy clouds a bird flies into and disappears. 

Hundreds of ticks 
blood sucking parasites clinging on to scales

A train is chugging
Four different sounds at once 

Swollen and bloated with blood, 
it could have just been a coincidence. 

Dried hydrangeas at your bedside

I'll list them for you: 

1. a loud shrill as the train attempts to slow down 
2. A rolling component pressed onto an axle, metal rubbing against metal

chugging forward, they get harder to distinguish 

3. wheels passing over each gap between each joint
the heavy train passes through them, relaxing themselves  you hear those rhythmic sound of the rails. 

4. The soft hum of the engine, or is that you breathing next to me? 

mosquitoes wear me down by shear numbers
I hit myself too hard too many times.

In the time you ask me how I am doing or comment that I never smile anymore 
you could have put your glass in the dishwasher
Leaving it to soak over night

cold water dripping from my fingertips to my elbow: The root of my unhappiness

The township of prospect
a smile is a curve that sets things straight 

August 2019

How to be kinder by being crueller:
a soft arm to lean on 
concealment can cause more dread

summer insects
blotchy and ailing 

three laundry baskets fulls of bread rolls
cooling down and fragrant
two left turn signals syncing up 

pouring milk into your coffee 
unannounced that its curdlered, 

not noticing how it splits
chugging back tiny white chunks

a pair of jordan sneakers bedside to kill centipedes as they come

I get the words out
it just feels heavy when I do

The faint night, a whole body hymn
my hand on the table caught tiny fluctuations of light
lifting the last quarter of the full moon.

softening, calming, snoring 
hands and muscles creaking or drifting away 

sun burnt lips licked
holding onto my left thumb

blood sticks in blonde hair
fake red leather rolling cigarettes quickly 
locking, typing, leaving

How long does it take for a stomach to swell (down)

or does it just deflate like a basketball

September 2019 

They are called flowers in your eyes, 
how did you get them? 

We used to knock ourselves out for fun
nobody told us what to do
all you need are little beetles

It's been ending for a while
The outer interior: purple and green 

I'm a big fucking knot
mortified by my own body betraying me

A bee takes a ride on a beetles back
an okayness with being silly


October 2019


November 2019 


November 13th

Today is your birthday.
under a table
I make a phony wager
two more years.

sweat soaked baby blue
dress and a string of pearls
head hung;a cross necklace lays in

pools of mushroom gravy 
“I cry every time fizzy wine goes flat”

A sunset the whole time

the changing

is inevitable
I try not to think about
your eyes
going with  the swing of the rope between
and swishing together
fingering lumps of decaying fruit pulp

the streaming of the curtain
drawn aside
into that blue gulf
the sun usually hides in

I drifted for
three days 

the space of a year 

weary workers
go coughing by with tired eyes
old people bent and dull 
slouching and murmuring 

I will turn into some chapel or
some library
the preacher is blinking at me 

twenty pairs of eyes held  me
trudging through relics
of romantic pity

there is a plum tree branch
patting you on the head
I swear it is a sunset
the whole time


I have with held
orange air
red kilometers
a green roof back to the road
I ran away from
a yellow pattern
insects are attracted to

awoken by a train
or an escalator 
I'm not sure it matters which 

Fastened together with gnat and wire
we are talking about actual obituaries 

I smelled 100 flowers at once
caught 1200 bug in my teeth

on my shoulder blades you play 
moonlight sonata with your fingers
we can make breakfast and try to heal
maple syrup sticks your hairs  
to my lips

waiting for you spoils the fruit in the fridge

the sky split down the center
a thin yellow line

The only I want for a long winter 
and a longer day of spring is to see you 
in warm weather for a few hours

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