once you go around
a couple times 
with a knife, 
the satin 
can be pulled off


kicking ice under the fridge again

the floor is nearly


toes coil in wet socks

it could go away as quick as

a newborn calf’s neck can snap


my back:

a festival of

mosquito bites

a burn


don’t forget about the bugs in September

I can still remember

the smell of food on the grill

some days i wanna die

from a skinned knuckle


a habit of opening the cupboards

and letting them lie open

i needed a watch at night in the motel

a production of collapsed chests

lunch with a lawyer

half an hour long movements and pauses

with acquaintances

using paper napkins


frugally declaring whats mine


acrobats spangled in the air

saggy forehead clowns spilled

into our laughter the ground

was saw dust crawling between our toes

digging nails into palms

jumping through flaming hoops

words swallowing swords

the body is constantly

huge welting bellies


charred flakes drifting from the backbone

a man came to his car

police fumbled with walkie talkies

i hear an engine sigh


Being torn apart by coyotes

maybe seem sentimental


I pick scabs chewing on the thick ones


I can constantly see myself dying

Slipping away

I'm going to avoid second hand vacuum cleaners, warm beer, indoor cigarettes and thinking about grids 


everything was packed: 

the cottage,

the family,

kung fu movies we never got around to watching,

a fancy dinner on Valentine's Day,

ugly grocery store mums,

too much wine,

a big vacuous boujee house with my sobbing ankles cracking on the stairs

echoing through it,

his brother yelling across the barren landscape of a newly renovated house to shut the fuck up.

pulpy sci-fi books, grandfather ashes, wrestle mania tapes, a letter from my art teacher pleading me not to drop out, sloth mask. 

she eats bugs as well as worms

finding them a delicious treat

no i don’t.

a truth that I’ve never said or written,

because if i do it’s a trait that I’ll have to deal with or work on

and I’ve been so good at avoiding it.

but the honest to god truth is:

she eats ants and says they taste

quite lemony

how do I kill ants so they don't shrivel up when I put them on food? 

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